details

For those who wanted more details on my pretty new bike here is the link to the website. I am leaving tomorrow for our annual family camping trip. I have prepared lots of healthy fruits and veggies, stocked up on turkey dogs, egg beaters, turkey sausages, baked chips and salsa. I plan to stay on plan while I'm aways so I can post another loss next week.

See you Sunday with good news and some pictures.

This post dedicated to DH

DH and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary yesterday and today (it is actually next week but we will be camping with family then and wanted to have a day for just us.) My DH surprised me after work yesterday with a lovely meal (salad with chicken, grilled cherry tomatoes, avocado, grilled corn and other lovely veggies).

We exchanged gifts - he is very hard to buy for so I booked us a full day of white water rafting in a couple of weeks. He has always wanted to do that so is excited about his gift. He gave me a new IPod touch, great gift but the best part was that he had preloaded it with all the hit songs from 1999 (the year we got married) and a few movies that we watched that year. What a sweetheart! We then went to the movies and watched The Proposal (great date movie!) and had a really lovely evening. Today we had planned a long bike ride but got caught in a rain storm. Luckily we were close to this cute little diner/bakery out in the country so we had a little lunch and then turned back for home when the rain eased up.

Once we were home DH said he had another surprise for me, we go in the car and headed to a local bike shop. I had done a lot of research on a new bike (my cheap shockless mountain bike is really hard on my back) and he had emailed around to find the one I have been coveting. We picked up my new beauty this afternoon. Unfortunately due to the rain I have only been out on a ten minute ride but it is sooooo comfortable and speedy!

We had a lovely anniversary celebration. All together we have been together for 14 years - I was only 18 (and he was 19) when we began dating so really we have grown up together. Like every relationship we have had good times and bad times. A few years ago we went through a really dark period and last night as we were holding hands at the movie, and stealing kisses on our evening walk I was thinking about how grateful I am that we have never given up on our relationship. Things now are better than ever and I am so very thankful that I have him as my partner through life.

Ok, enough sappiness.. I still owe you all the frozen 'yogurt' recipe I promised.

This comes from the latest Clean Eating Magazine:

2 cups frozen raspberries
1 package soft tofu
1/2 cup sugar free soy milk

1/4 cup agave nectar

1/4 cup orange juice

1 tbsp lemon juice

Whizz all ingredients for a couple minutes in a food processor and then transfer to ice cream maker. It was really good and really low points. A little tart though, I think I will leave out the lemon juice next time.

Stress relief

My husband shared a theory with me the other day. He thinks that my weight plateau, stubborn headaches, TOM issues, insomnia, chronic back pain etc.. may be caused (to some degree at least) by stress. Generally my life is not extremely stressful but I am one of life's eternally positive people and keeping up a smiling face and fending of negative vibes all day long can be draining. When my sister began having a difficult time a few months ago I took a lot of her pain and stress onto myself, when DH lost his good friend a few weeks ago I was desperate to find some way to console my husband and try to make it better. Last week a co-worker divulged a very serious secret to me and asked me to keep it confidential until she decided how to proceed. DH could see (before I could myself) that the weight of all of these painful situations was beginning to chip away at my emotional stability, it always begins with lack of sleep - which becomes the root cause of many other physical ailments. So my little vacation could not have come at a better time.

By day two in Calgary I had had a great nights sleep and was no longer thinking about anyone but myself and spending time with my best friend and reconnecting with him after not seeing each other for almost a year. Besides DH, my friend P is the one person I can completely let my guard down with and just be me, what a wonderful gift to have someone like that in my life. So, the conclusion to my story is that after 5 days of 'me time' I came home in bright spirits, well rested, eager to get back into my life, and was greeted with this:

Seeing that after being away from home for a week, making good eating choices but indulging a few times, really makes me think that there is more to this weight loss thing than calories in and calories out. So my pledge for the next week is to try and maintain my calm mindset - I will commit to spending time doing the things that relax me (yoga, reading, biking, cooking) and try to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night (I usually average 5).

I will be back tomorrow with a great recipe I tried for frozen 'yogurt'.

Vacation ups and downs

I am getting ready to fall asleep on my last day of vacation in Calgary. I am at my girlfriends house and have had a really wonderful time visiting with old friends over the past 5 days. I did a ton of shopping (my only form of exercise here) and once again trying on clothes with my new body never seems to get old. I purchased a dress and coat at Banana Republic (a store which fitting their clothes once seemed like an impossibility). I also bought the most adorable red bathing suit that I will post a picture of myself in the next time we go to the lake (it is so cute I actually like the way I look in it). I also bought some summer 'transition' clothes at Old Navy (hopefully will be too big next summer) and found out that I am a Large size there now. It was so much fun being able to try on all sorts of clothes with my friends and not being the chubby one just sitting around giving my opinion.

Food on this trip has been 75% good. I made good choices most of the time when eating out. For the first three days I was staying with my very best friend and he and I cooked some great delicious healthy meals. Before I moved from Calgary getting together and throwing fabulous dinner parties was one of our favourite things to do, it means a lot to me that he 100% supports my new lifestyle and we were still able to have fun cooking together like old times. For the past two days I have been at another friends house and she is a 'clean eater' so delicious and healthy are always on the menu.

I did have two big splurges though. Last night I met some friends for dinner at a funky little restaurant and I had a Lobster Grilled Cheese with fries. It was lobster and brie on grilled sourdough along with shoe string fries. I gave away half my fries and 1/4 of my sandwich - it was delicious!!!!! I also had half of an apple tart and ice cream. I never eat this kind of food anymore.. I savoured every delicious bite, but am still paying for it with a stomach ache and bloating. Tonight after a healthy dinner my friend and her fiance and I went to Dairy Queen for a treat. A small choco cherry blizzard was my last vacation goodie.. I don't feel bad about it and enjoyed it as well.

I don't think I will see too much of a gain when I get home tomorrow and I am really looking forward to getting back into my routine. My flight is and early one so I have the afternoon to meal plan, grocery shop, food prep and set out some activity goals for the upcoming week. The past three weeks have been emotionally and physically rough but I feel recharged and eager to jump back into my life. I feel bad that DH has been working while I have been on this vacation but I know I will be a better wife and friend to him after taking this time for myself.

Hope you are all well, looking forward to catching up on all your blogs.

Feeling better

I am feeling better.. getting my energy back. I am about to hop on the plane so will post when I get back from Calgary. Hopefully I will stay strong and make good eating decisions.. I really want to hit onederland soon.

Suffering

I will try not to gross anyone out with too much information (I am not the kind to talk much about bodily functions - even to my closest friends) but I am once again suffering from TOM. I am on day 4 of the heaviest period I have had in years. It has zapped any bit of energy I have, I dont want to cook, eat, exercise or get out of bed. The cramps had me in tears yesterday. I went with DH to our friends funeral and that left me completely exhausted physically and emotionally.

I know I need to see a doctor, I don't have a family doctor here since we moved a year ago, I think I am trying to avoid the process I have been through in the past. Poked, prodded, medicated etc.. but it is really starting to effect my life.

I am on vacation this week, DH is back at work and will be working overtime for the next 10 days so I think I am going to fly to Calgary and visit some friends, clear my head and will deal with my rebelling body when I get back.

Some new recipes

I have been meaning to post some of my recent recipes adventures for awhile now. These are two new family favourites, both from the Hungry Girl 200 under 200 cookbook. The first is Sweet and Chunky Chicken Salad:

1 cup (about 4.5 oz.) cooked & roughly chopped skinless lean chicken breast

1/2 cup chopped Persian or Kirby cucumber**

1/3 cup red seedless grapes, halved

1/3 cup chopped apple

1/4 cup plain fat-free yogurt

2 tbsp. fat-free mayonnaise

1 no-calorie sweetener packet (like Splenda)

1/4 tsp. lemon pepper seasoning

dash salt

Directions: Mix together the yogurt, mayonnaise, sweetener, lemon pepper seasoning, and salt. Coat the chicken in this mixture, and then stir in the chopped cucumber, grape halves, and chopped apple. MAKES 2 SERVINGS

This is so creamy and yummy, I have made it three times in the past week, a cup is only three points - I love it in a 2 point wrap for a delicious and filling lunch. I am lot a huge fan of lemon pepper so I substituted cumin to give it a little kick.

The next recipe is for Chocolate Chip Softies. They are big chewy 2 point cookies that are satisfying and filling. DH really liked these - they are closer to a muffin top than a cookie. The only picture I have is of me chowing down during a bike ride pit stop.

3/4 cup whole-wheat flour

1/2 cup Splenda No Calorie Sweetener (granulated)

6 tbsp. unsweetened applesauce

1/4 cup canned pure pumpkin

1/4 cup fat-free liquid egg substitute (like Egg Beaters)

2 1/2 tbsp. mini semi-sweet chocolate chips

2 tbsp. brown sugar, not packed

3/4 tsp. vanilla extract

1/4 tsp. baking soda

1/8 tsp. salt

Directions: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a mixing bowl, combine all dry ingredients except for the chocolate chips (flour, Splenda, brown sugar, baking soda, and salt). Mix well. In a separate bowl, mix together all wet ingredients (applesauce, pumpkin, egg substitute, and vanilla extract). Add this mixture to the dry ingredients, and stir until completely blended. Then, fold in the chocolate chips. Spray a large baking pan with nonstick spray, and spoon batter into 8 evenly spaced circles. Place pan in the oven for about 10 minutes (until cookies appear done and feel firm). Remove pan from the oven and allow cookies to cool slightly. For best results, enjoy while the cookies are still warm and the chips are still melty! MAKES 8 SERVINGS

Cycling to solitude

Thank you for all your kind thoughts after my last post. DH is doing a bit better, still sad and angry of course. We both had the day off yesterday and decided we needed to get away from everything and work off some of the tension surrounding us. So, we hopped on our bikes and cycled 20km to a little ferry terminal, hopped on the boat and cycled our way around Denman Island. The ferry ride is only about 15 minutes but on the other side is a peaceful little island with a scattered population of retired nature lovers, artists and hippies. Being a Tuesday afternoon, we hardly saw a sole the entire time. It is a 30km ride to circle the island - at the southern tip we parked are bikes and did a 5km (round trip) hike to a lookout point and were greeted with this lovely view.

Here is a picture of me checking out the little tourist map we were given on the ferry - not that there was much chance of getting lost.

A well-earned ice cream cone while waiting for the ferry home.

Every thing considered it was a really nice day. The odometer on my bike told me we went 70km total and today my butt is telling me not to do that again for awhile! We have one day left of our 'weekend' so are headed to the lake for some relaxation and a picnic in the sun.

Thanks again for all your kind words, Our friend was a nature lover and an avid cyclist, I know he would be happy with how we chose to remember him yesterday.

Sad and conflicted

I have debated about writing about this at all, a trivial blog post from me seems ridiculous after all that has happened but I need to let out some of my feelings somewhere and I guess this anonymous forum is as good as any. Sorry, getting ahead of myself..

On Thursday afternoon I was in Victoria shopping with a visiting girlfriend, we were in the car, laughing and reminiscing when my cell phone rang. It was my husband calling from work, he was sobbing, and after some coaxing he told me that friend/co-worker/room mate was killed while driving on the highway in the afternoon. A drunk driver crossed the line and hit him head on, he was killed instantly. I only met this man a handful of times but he and my DH have been sharing an apartment for the past 8 months as they both worked shifts in the little isolated town. They would go hiking together a lot and being 25 years older than DH he was a father figure to him, he had a wife, children, and grand children. He was kind, funny, gentle, energetic and always smiling.

Since then my emotions have gone from concern for my DH's grief, intense relief that it was not my DH on that highway at that moment, guilt for feeling such relief, overwhelming sadness for his wife and family, intense anger at the man who chose to drive drunk (who is still alive in a local hospital), and a crippling desire to never let my DH out of my sight again. Yesterday we went to visit his wife. It was gut-wrenchingly sad to see her struggling to compose her grief and anger while those of us surrounding her had no words that would come close to expressing what we were feeling.

DH had to go back to work today - only one shift. He will be back tomorrow for four days. I have spent every minute since he left trying not to think about how, like our friends wife, I could lose him in a second. I am distracting myself my mindlessly cleaning and eating (sometimes at the same time). My chest, head, and stomach all feel like they are being squeezed by a vice. I have always been a person that believes every thing happens for a reason. It is still too close, I see not reason, purpose or fairness in this senseless tragedy.

So tonight, maybe you argued with someone you love, or were too busy or tired to take the time to tell them how much you love them or how much they mean to you. If they were gone in the next second, would you doubt that their last memory of you represented your true feelings? I know that from now on I will not let DH out of my sight without confirmation of our mutual love and contentment with each other.

Sorry to ramble on, I feel so selfish making this about me, but I have to do something to relieve this pressure.

Finally some new Blog Bling!

I finally lost the .2lbs I needed to reach 65lbs lost. I have lost and gained this 5 lbs about 10 times since January, I still have not found the magic key to unlocking this plateau for good but really I am not too upset about it. I am getting stronger, and more toned every week. I am eating healthy wholesome food 90% of the time and any treats are planned and accounted for. If I do not break out of the plateau by the end of the summer I think I will have to seek some medical advice - I was checked for thyroid issues and PCOS a few years ago but I am beginning to wonder if there is a medical reason for mt stalling progress.

The past few days have gone well. I did a 40km bike ride on Monday, a 20km ride on Tuesday and have done two thirty minute sessions with my new toy. The EA Active for Wii. This is a really fun workout tool and way more intensive than the Wii fit. I was sweating during my workout and today my quads are aching from all the lunges. It has a great 30 day challenge feature that I am currently working on.

I have a few new recipes to share but DH took our camera when he went away to work for a few days so they will have to wait until next week. Take care all!