Still here

Sorry for neglecting my blog. I am still here, still struggling but I am maintaining my weight and not gaining. I just cant seem to make myself be consistent. I am by no means out of control but have just lost focus. I have a friend who just joined my gym, I hope that going with her will kick start me back into regular exercise.

Sigh... wish I could get my mojo back!

2 clean days and counting..

Why is this so hard right now? I spent 12 months eating healthy food and exercising regularly and lost 60 pounds. I have spent the last 6 months kind of on plan and have lost only 10 pounds. In the last two weeks I have eaten things that I never allowed in my mouth during my year of 'healthy only' and apparently I have decided that a day is not complete without some form of full fat full sugar chocolate involved. On a positive note I really feel that I have conquered the portion control demon that has plagued me my whole life, I understand what a 'portion' looks like and keep my meals in check. My issue is with the extras that keep creeping in, a handful of chocolate chips, extra raisins on my morning cereal, small ice cream at DQ, bag of baked chips in the afternoon (every afternoon??) extra glass of milk before bed. None of these things are leading to binges but they add up enough to keep my weightloss stagnant.

I think I was getting frustrated with my plateau.. I was doing everything right and stopped losing so I figured I might as well have some little treats so the lack of weight loss had some benefit (wow that is a messed up idea.... hmmm I think a lightbulb just went off!!). The exercise has also fallen off track.. I used to love going to the gym, swimming, yoga class etc... now (other than the biking) I have not done any of those things in weeks. Time to suck it up and get back to where I was. This morning I weighed 205.6... why am I sabotaging my trip to onederland..

Sorry for the rambling post, just trying to sort out my mental state. Life really is good right now, having a fun summer, enjoying time with DH I just need to kick my butt into gear on the weightloss front.

I HAVE BEEN SUCCESSFUL AND WILL BE SUCCESSFUL AGAIN!!!!!

Tough Love

That is what I need, I wrote that last post committing myself to counting points, staying on track, blah blah blah... and I did none of it. This morning I weighed 206lbs. Not a huge gain but moving in the wrong direction none the less. I have been doing the... 'oh Ive been so good Ill just have a little of this' or 'Ill make cookies for DH and his co-workers and pop a few into my mouth as well'. The most frustrating part is that I really don't feel bad about it. I do what to lose these last 25-30 pounds but I am so much happier with myself physically, emotionally, etc.. than I was a year ago that it is hard to get mad at myself for and splurging on an ice cream cone now and then. But, I know this is a slippery slope and I have to regain some of my focus and get back into a regular routine. It has not been all bad - DH and I got in a 30km bike today on a trail system in a nearby town - here is a picture he took of me deep in the bush (I am trying to avoid tan lines so I can wear a strapless dress to an upcoming wedding - hence the 80's flashback tube top!)

Tomorrows goals:

Menu plan for the week and do 60 minutes of Wii (DDR and/or Active)

Blog in the evening whether I was successful or not!

Camping Chaos

I am back from my camping trip and I did pretty well as far as what I ate. I mostly stuck to my turkey dogs and the raw veggies and dip that I brought. Friday night was our actual anniversary and even though we had already done a private celebration my sister had planned a little camping party. My parents and DH's parents all drove out to the campground for dinner. Here are some pictures of the party. The first is my sister giving our 10th anniversary toast and then next are us with the cake that my mom brought out.

The trip was a lot of fun as it always is. We swam lots.. my DH discovered that now that I am smaller he can pick me up in the water and toss me, flip me, put me on his shoulders etc... my nieces loved that because it is usually me doing those things to them. We brought our bikes as well and got in some nice trail rides (loving the new bike!!!)

I did eat some of the junk food that my sister brought. Not a lot, but enough to make me feel bloated and tired today. I really need to find the resolve that I had not too long ago and the will power to say no to the unhealthy food that I don't even really like anymore. I am going to get back on track with counting points this week, I have been counting in my head lately but I know I need to get back to writing my intake down. I did some meal planning today and filled my fridge with healthy groceries. I have made a delicious lunch for tomorrow and have prepped veggies for the next few days. I will be posting my menu here for the next week.

Finally is this picture of the first zucchini from my garden, I grilled this little beauty on the BBQ with some balsamic vinegar... mmmmm delicious. I can't wait until all the other veggies I have planted are ready to be eaten!